in honor of stupid people

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 6:58:03

In the event that you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.'
(well,...duh, a bit late, huh!)

==========================
On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

===========================
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) ==========================

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought????...)
=======================

On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

====================================

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
===========================
On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)
============================

On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's

? ?

just

? ?

a suggestion.)

========================

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

==============================

On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???.....)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)
==========================

On a Japanese food processor --
'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) ==============================

On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'
(Step 3: say what?)
===========================
On a child's Superman costume --
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) ========================

On a Swedish chainsaw --
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'
(Golly gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Post 2 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 7:47:37

Okay, okay. I've read some of these type labels on products.
Made me laugh.
Ya back on your game girl!

Post 3 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 18:57:47

Lol, that last one is a real wtf moment.

Post 4 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 19:01:35

That last one made me cross my legs ...
Yeah those are good ones.

Post 5 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 19:42:08

I love these.

I think my favorite is, " On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)"
Well, I guess I could use it while I take a bath. FLASH!

Bob

Post 6 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 30-Oct-2014 19:44:43

Those always make me happy. But that last one...wow. You know someone somewhere had to be the cause of that warning label.

Post 7 by Pasco (my ISP would be out of business if it wasn't for this haven I live at) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 2:15:53

Some of these are clearly written by liability lawyers. Your comment Ms Velvet were pretty funny too.

Post 8 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 6:42:20

I've seen some of these before. It's even more scary when you realize that the reason a lot of these were created was because someone was indeed *that* stupid. It truly is amazing the human race has survived, when you look at stuff like this.

Post 9 by Shaydz (Veteran Zoner) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 8:31:30

It never ceases to amaze me how common sense has just gone out the window for some
people. These are all obviously a result of liability issues or court cases that have
happened, but really... if people are so stupid, such as attempting to stop a chainsaw with
their genitals, then I suppose they should be left to suffer the consequences. I am sorry, I
find it hard to feel sorry for anyone who can't just use their common sense, which is what
these ridiculous but funny examples are illustrating. But nonetheless, thank you for the
laughs.

Post 10 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 8:35:19

Pasco, thanks for giving me credit for the funny comments, but they are not mine. This is just something someone emailed to me with the comments already written.

I agree with everyone who said these warnings were probably written by liability lawyers. Ever read any of the Darwin Award emails that come around? There is usually an edition every year, and they prove that people really *are* that stupid.

Post 11 by forereel (Just posting.) on Friday, 31-Oct-2014 21:44:22

I'm buying me a Superman. I've always wanted to fly.

Post 12 by rusty81 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Sunday, 02-Nov-2014 22:03:48

lol! thanks for the laughs. :D

Post 13 by odicy (Zone BBS Addict) on Sunday, 17-May-2015 14:50:58

I think my favorite one is probably:
On a Japanese food processor --
'Not to be used for the other use.'
...only because it makes no sense bahahahahahha.

Post 14 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Sunday, 17-May-2015 19:31:29

Did you know that on a tube of Preparation H, it says:
"DO NOT TAKE ORALLY!"
One question:
Does anyone really get that hungry?
Blessings,
Hot Wheels

Post 15 by LittleSneezer (The Zone-BBS is my prison, but I like it here.) on Sunday, 17-May-2015 21:05:34

Wow. Thanks for the laughs.

Post 16 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 18-May-2015 1:46:44

I just heard another joke just as funny, but don't know if I should add it here, or make my own stupid people topic. LOL

Post 17 by Elsa (Account disabled) on Thursday, 21-May-2015 1:28:20

Almost like telling someone that being shocked by electricity can cause permanent death

Post 18 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 09-Dec-2015 18:57:09

lol, becky! just lol! :d theese are prety funny! My favorite? Supperman and
the chainsaw thing. wow, so people are that stupid? just... wow? :d

Post 19 by CrystalSapphire (Uzuri uongo ndani) on Wednesday, 09-Dec-2015 22:52:18

lol the stupidity of people.

Post 20 by HellTabby666 (Shh... quiet, you might piss somebody off.) on Monday, 28-Nov-2016 20:15:14

Or lables about how to use shampoo...WHY? JUST, WHYYYYYY? But all of those were great!

Post 21 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 29-Nov-2016 11:26:52

hahaha, right?

Post 22 by HellTabby666 (Shh... quiet, you might piss somebody off.) on Wednesday, 30-Nov-2016 23:24:11

people are just...so stupid!

Post 23 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Friday, 02-Dec-2016 10:52:15

If you want to hear "Stupid," listen to Bill Ingvold. I am sure I spelled it wrong. Just google "Here's Your Sign!" And, I've seen people just like that.
I was going to the train station. Cabby asks: "You take wheelchair with you?"
"No," I said. "I thought you could carry me inside, and hold me up to the counter, to help me get my ticket... Duh." Of course, I wanted my wheelchair! I left my witch broom in the house! How was I gonna buy my ticket? Please! Yeah, people are that dumb. LOL
Kind of reminds me of that lady that didn't get "Can't See," when I had lost my voice, and couldn't breathe. Can't believe still, had to take my eye out!

On another subject, Becky will be here, forever, with her joke boards. We just can't get enough of them! (Smiles)
Sarah

Post 24 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Wednesday, 07-Dec-2016 8:50:44

here's your sign ...

Post 25 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 07-Dec-2016 12:35:33

lol! yeah, I'm crossing the street. My OANDM is observing me. Is that your mom? bitch, does she look like me? no! stupid! she's a teacher. Is she blind? wow, how dumb could you be?

Post 26 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 07-Dec-2016 12:37:05

oh yeah... Hey she's blind! I'm at circle kay buying sweets. Some person is like, hey she's blind!!!!! Ok, thanks for announcing it to the whole world! I'm not deaf! stupid!

Post 27 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Wednesday, 07-Dec-2016 19:31:33

Well Sia Fan, it could have been an adoptive parent or step mom. Just saying.

As for the food processor, you know someone somewhere probably tried sticking parts of a dead body in there. Morbid? Yes. Accurate? Would not be surprised.

Post 28 by Pasco (my ISP would be out of business if it wasn't for this haven I live at) on Thursday, 08-Dec-2016 1:40:31

LOL Nah Sia, that person was being stupid. Adopted Mom? LOL

Post 29 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 08-Dec-2016 10:20:54

You encounter that in Phoenix where there's actually a circle kay around. people stare at you like, :oh man! you're blind! You must be like ray Charles. Ok? and? :p